79. Yoga Philosophies and Grief: with Des Mathews

About the episode:

In today's episode, I chat with guest Des Mathews (they them), a Yoga Guide and Grief & Death Doula, about the intersections between yoga philosophies and grief.

Des is a Queer, South East Asian trauma-informed Yoga Guide and Grief and Death Doula who is a settler on Treaty 20 and the Williams Treaties in Nogojiwanong-Peterborough, Ontario. They host yoga practices, grief circles, and workshops in person and virtually. They are intentional about where they show up and lead with values of generosity, interdependence, compassion, honesty, and authenticity.

Key takeaways:

  • the role of Ahimsa (non-harm, one of the 5 Yamas) in self-compassion during grief

  • surrendering to emotions with Ishvaraparidhana (divine surrender, one of the 5 Niyamas)

  • Supporting somatic healing and nervous system regulation with Asana (the movements and poses)

  • Cultural differences in grieving

  • friend-loss grief

  • how capitalism has contributed to a society that devalues friendships

  • and more!

RESOURCES:

Connect with Des:

IG: @death.and.yoga

Email: des.doesyoga@gmail.com

Des’s recommendation to dive deeper into yoga: SusannaBarkataki at https://www.susannabarkataki.com/

Listen on Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify

Quotes:

“…feelings might come up and it’s completely normal in our journey with grief, and with that I recommend more gentle yoga or restorative practices.”

“yoga can be used as a resource for calming our nervous system.”

“there’s no timeline for our grief, and it’s very cyclical. When we can come to that place of acceptance, it goes back to the compassion piece where we’re able to give ourselves and others more grace.”

 “Traditionally yoga was seen as a practice to end suffering and cause liberation, cause freedom.”

 “You're only allowed a certain amount of days off if your mom dies or your partner dies, but what about your best friend? Your best friend could have been your life partner,right? Society just doesn't seem to care as much about that. And again, that goes into the whole diminishing of it, which makes us feel like we're kind of gaslighting ourselves in a way. Like, did this person even exist? Because it's not recognized, people aren't showing me that it matters.”

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80. The Myth of Emotional Severance: 2 Girls With Grief

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78. Grief Note: feeling stuck in a liminal space